gold diggin' [Part One]

So recently, I had a traumatic experience at the dentist. What should have been the easiest appointment to cement a crown ended up involving a visit to the campus health center and returning from the appointment crown-less (or so to speak).

You see, during the fitting of my expensive GOLD crown onto my tooth, I made a mistake: I swallowed it. In a matter of seconds, the crown went from my friend K's (or dentist's) hand down into the rabbit hole. As I felt the presence of a foreign object about to pass down my throat, I lept from the chair and dug my fingers down my throat in hopes of retrieving the disobedient crown. What followed was a bloody throat, a blood nose and the painful realization that maybe this crown had slipped away. Having been rushed to the restroom, I stood over the sink as my friend M passed me stashes of paper towels to replace the ones soaked with my blood.

I didn't really know what was happening, but somehow I ended up on my knees on the cold tile floor. My poor friend M didn't know what to do either, so she just kept passing me paper towels. As for my poor traumatized dentist friend K, I just remember seeing his face go ashen as he stammered to figure out what to do next. What followed was a lengthy visit to the student health center, where an X-ray assured all three of us that my crown had reached my colon. The doctor told me that it should pass in 3 to 4 days...

Once at home, I considered my options: 1. Forget about it and figure out how to pay another $260 for another one; or 2. Start digging.

You see, being a poor grad student, I really didn't have an option with #1... which left me with disgusting option #2.

To be continued...

Men in Outerwear: rePOST

taken from j's blog. I couldn't have said it better so I had to re-post:

"I must admit the men of this city exist in a different caliber of classy. from their long burberry trench coats to their sea green, sheepy cloud ties. it's toe up from the floe up: dandy style.

yeah, they look good in winter wear. but you know what it is about these suits that really gets me? besides their success, dignified elegance, and noble mannerisms? and super besides the sense of security that their consistent (large) paycheck could potentially bring...

it's the discipline.

these guys have to forego many things in life to study hard to get the internships that lead to the good positions in those good companies. think about the focus, passion, and self sacrifice that takes! diligence is super sexy.

it always comes down to a man's ability to prioritize, commit, and sacrifice. it's what separates the men from the boys. admit it, you can't help but revere a man who is able to work hard for what they want and be willing to make sacrifices in order to attain it."

Thanks J for putting into words what I couldn't. This is why I love fall and the outerwear that comes with it! I kid... (well, partly).

damages = total loss

Captured at The Metropolitan Museum of Art, April 2010

(35 mm f5, 1/80)

I'd like to think of myself as someone who is a good friend. I'm down-to-earth, thoughtful and loyal as a golden retriever (at least I think so). The friends I have have become my lifelong friends. For the most part, I've never really had drama in my friendships. I don't know if that's because I attract people who are easy to get along with, or if I just lucked out with the kindest and sweetest people to call my friends. Yet recently, I lost a good friend and it has felt as though I've had to grieve through the loss.

You see, this person K (names have been changed to protect the innocent ;) was a friend that I valued. Even though we hadn't been friends for too long, there was a familiarity and comfortableness in being around this person. Not too much had to be explained and we just understood each other (or so I thought). Yet things between us drastically changed. We went from playing for the same team to being opponents on the field. In a matter of days, the friend I thought I had known became a completely different person.

Without revealing too much, I can say this: the inherent problems in our friendship (unbeknownst to me) were left unspoken and I only found out about them after the damage was done. Although I did what I could in damage control (i.e. confront, apologize, try to move forward), it was of no use. Too many feelings had been hurt and too much time had passed to try to fix things now. In the end, K and I walked away from the scene with what was considered to be a total loss.

As I've had to see K occasionally, the obligatorily courteous "hello's" and "how's it going's" have left me feeling blue. As I constantly (and deleteriously) think over and over in my head about what I could have done differently, I realize that maybe it wasn't meant to be. But I'm still hopeful. Maybe one day, things between us will change.

These empty pockets

What no one talks about when in any professional school is how hard it is to live off loans. You see, whatever you use to pay for rent, groceries, school supplies, restaurant dinners all comes from someone else's pocket. Every time I open my wallet, I'm reminded that I'm living off someone else's money. What's even worse is that my life these four years will be paid with interest over the following 25 years. It's definitely something that I can't seem to get over, even though I'm a quarter of the way through.

Tonight is one of those nights where I'm feeling a little nervous and panicked. Although I've tried to bring my living expenses down (my rent got cut by about $75 by moving to Hollywood), the cost of my materials for this semester and the new federal loan policies (that tack on ridiculous fees for taking out loans) have put a HUGE dent in my "someone-else's" wallet. Maybe it's time to find a part-time job (and find/make the time for it) or join the army...

God, please help me to trust that You'll provide enough to make it through this semester.

The Chef & Me

Tonight, I had the privilege of taking part of a cooking class with a chef I adore.

When asked what she deems as "good" food, she effortlessly replied that whenever someone makes you food, it's "good" food because they took the time and creative effort to create a meal for you.

That makes two of us.

The first meal that my boyfriend cooked for me was sausage and onions. At the time, we still hadn't defined our relationship and we were in this butterflies-in-your-stomach, giddy start to the relationship. Living in the ultimate bachelor's apartment (mismatched furniture and a fridge packed with meat and all), he had nothing in his fridge to feed the both of us except sausage. So he chopped up his sausage and onions and in less than an hour, there was a stir-fried bowl of sausage and onions on a bed of rice in front of me.

Although I'm not the biggest sausage fan, that had to have been the tastiest sausage I've ever had. Over the years, we've had so many food adventures, both cooking ourselves and trying new restaurants...

Michael's dduk-bokki.. which is hit-or-miss (in his opinion) but always delicious to me.

At Taco Rosa, a shameless Mexican chain restaurant in Tustin ('twas actually good that day).

At George's in La Jolla. The most delicious and yet most uncomfortable meal ever!

Our marmalade pork ribs and potatoes au gratin. Satisfactory, at best ;)

Dinner at Cous Cous in San Diego for our anniversary. The BEST middle eastern food I've ever had!

Our tried-and-true Beef Panamanian empanadas! Delish!

As someone who loves to cook and enjoy good food (although not yet a good cook), I will say this: Food is never better than with someone you adore.

Here's to a bazillion more of our Food & Wine adventures!